My Kingdom for a Horse: Another Top Ten List
October 28th 2006 05:18
The Spring Carnival is in full swing once again in Melbourne. Of course, I could make a wisecrack on how the fillies and stallions are out in full glory, and that the horses don’t look bad either, but I won’t. Every newspaper columnist in the country who thought they were so witty when they wrote that should die a horrible death, preferably one involving enraged equines and flying hooves. Anyway, the Cox Plate is on today, and I really should give a damn except: 1) I know jack about horse racing, and 2) “Cox Plate” reminds me of a sausage appetizer. What I decided to do, instead, was compile a list of the ten most notable horses in history, literature, and entertainment. It’s also an easy way to make a post without thinking too much.
Mr. Ed:
A horse is a horse, of course, of course… Unless, of course, that horse was eating peanut butter to make it look like he was talking. How true this legend is, I have no idea. I do know that if you ask George Bush to hold a book right-side up, it will look like he was intelligent.
Pegasus: I know he’s a mythical horse, but you can’t argue with his fame. Heck, he’s got his own constellation. His image also appears everywhere: in the Reader’s Digest logo, the Exxon Mobil logo, and in a classy girly bar in the Philippines. Not that I would know anything much about it. *cough cough*
Wooden Greek horse:
Again, not a real horse, but c’mon, do you know any other horse who would allow an army of Greeks to crawl out of his ass? Hmmm, I wonder if that’s where the term “to go Greek” came from. Anyway, this is one horse that can brag about literally winning the war for its side.
Bucephalus: He was the mount of Alexander the Great and, after he died, a city was founded in his honor. Wow, he must have been one heckuva horse to deserve a city. Most horses just get a trip to the glue factory. After Alexander was shown, the horse that portrayed Bucephalus reportedly said, “Colin Farrell rode me and people were filming it. Eat your heart out, Nicole Narain.”
The horse that Lady Godiva rode on:
Sure, its rider is more famous, but without the horse, Lady Godiva would have had to resort to other forms of transport. “Lady Godiva rode naked through the town” sounds better than “Lady Godiva cycled naked through the town”.
Silver: “Hi ho Silver, away!” One of the coolest catchphrases ever made was dedicated to this horse. OK, maybe not “dedicated” since it was more of a command, but at least his name is forever immortalized in one of the Lone Ranger’s two battle cries. The other one was “Tonto, stop those bullets with your body!”
Black Beauty: The hero and title character of Anna Sewell’s novel. I don’t know much about him (her?) as I haven’t read the story yet. The only reason he (she?) is on the list is because Black Beauty is a classic.
The horse with no name: The horse doesn’t have a name, yet it is the title of a song. That is so cool. Of course, “A Horse With No Name” is a better song title than “Some Random Horse”, “What Am I Riding On?”, and “If I Don’t Find Some Food in This Desert Soon, This Horse is Lunch”.
Man O’ War: A list compiled on a race day is not complete without a racehorse. Arguably the most famous racehorse besides Secretariat, his name evokes images of the swift and fearsome Spanish armada. He died from the sting of a sea creature while vacationing in Portugal. Thus, he lent his name to one of the most venomous animals on Earth. And if you believed that, here’s some other news: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and WMDs have been found in Iraq.
Camilla Parker-Bowles:
Prince Charles is a polo player, after all.
This list is by no means comprehensive. A lot of other famous horses were left out for several reasons. Quick Draw McGraw will always be in the shadow of Yogi Bear, Fred Flintstone, and Scooby-Doo. Secretariat is a relative newcomer in the pages of history. Phar Lap is well-known only in Australia and among racing aficionados. Seabiscuit only became a part of pop culture when Spider-man rode him. The horses from Animal Farm aren’t as charismatic or memorable as the pigs. Except for those who actually watched the TV show, nobody remembers the names of the ponies from My Little Pony.
This list is just about what I believe are the equines most recognized by the general public. All those not in favor, say “Neigh.” Oooh, bad pun.
*Images are used for review and commentary purposes only. Prince Charles image from paulgillisphoto.com. All other images from Wikipedia.
Mr. Ed:
Pegasus: I know he’s a mythical horse, but you can’t argue with his fame. Heck, he’s got his own constellation. His image also appears everywhere: in the Reader’s Digest logo, the Exxon Mobil logo, and in a classy girly bar in the Philippines. Not that I would know anything much about it. *cough cough*
Wooden Greek horse:
Bucephalus: He was the mount of Alexander the Great and, after he died, a city was founded in his honor. Wow, he must have been one heckuva horse to deserve a city. Most horses just get a trip to the glue factory. After Alexander was shown, the horse that portrayed Bucephalus reportedly said, “Colin Farrell rode me and people were filming it. Eat your heart out, Nicole Narain.”
The horse that Lady Godiva rode on:
Silver: “Hi ho Silver, away!” One of the coolest catchphrases ever made was dedicated to this horse. OK, maybe not “dedicated” since it was more of a command, but at least his name is forever immortalized in one of the Lone Ranger’s two battle cries. The other one was “Tonto, stop those bullets with your body!”
Black Beauty: The hero and title character of Anna Sewell’s novel. I don’t know much about him (her?) as I haven’t read the story yet. The only reason he (she?) is on the list is because Black Beauty is a classic.
The horse with no name: The horse doesn’t have a name, yet it is the title of a song. That is so cool. Of course, “A Horse With No Name” is a better song title than “Some Random Horse”, “What Am I Riding On?”, and “If I Don’t Find Some Food in This Desert Soon, This Horse is Lunch”.
Man O’ War: A list compiled on a race day is not complete without a racehorse. Arguably the most famous racehorse besides Secretariat, his name evokes images of the swift and fearsome Spanish armada. He died from the sting of a sea creature while vacationing in Portugal. Thus, he lent his name to one of the most venomous animals on Earth. And if you believed that, here’s some other news: Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, and WMDs have been found in Iraq.
Camilla Parker-Bowles:
Prince Charles riding his favorite nag
This list is by no means comprehensive. A lot of other famous horses were left out for several reasons. Quick Draw McGraw will always be in the shadow of Yogi Bear, Fred Flintstone, and Scooby-Doo. Secretariat is a relative newcomer in the pages of history. Phar Lap is well-known only in Australia and among racing aficionados. Seabiscuit only became a part of pop culture when Spider-man rode him. The horses from Animal Farm aren’t as charismatic or memorable as the pigs. Except for those who actually watched the TV show, nobody remembers the names of the ponies from My Little Pony.
This list is just about what I believe are the equines most recognized by the general public. All those not in favor, say “Neigh.” Oooh, bad pun.
*Images are used for review and commentary purposes only. Prince Charles image from paulgillisphoto.com. All other images from Wikipedia.
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Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Best list I've read yet.
How about Incitatus - the horse Caligula made a Senator. Give him a bag of oats and he'll pass your Bill.
Comment by JohnDoe
Film & TV on DVD
Does Francis the Talking Mule count??
A few of my fave GG's-
Phar Lap
Silver from the Lone Ranger
Hero from The Phantom
Pegasus of Greek myth
Atrau in the NeverEnding Story
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Hey, JohnDoe. Hmmm, Francis the Talking Mule... Sure, why not? Let's not discriminate against half-breeds. Ah, yes, Hero the fastest horse alive. I think Devil was more popular than him, though. Oh, wow, The Never-Ending Story. When I last watched it, I was a kid. I can't even remember what it's about now. All I can recall is that there was the horse, a warrior, and a dragon-dog.
Comment by spain01
Juan Carlos
spain again
While your'e about it
Viva l'difference
Fire News Blog
Cities dying of thirst.
The most astonishing horse story is that of Captain Marabout at the incredible Battle of Eylau in Poland. Marabout’s horse became so enraged that he tore off the face of a Russian solider then seized another by the abdomen temporarily carrying him about exposing his liver and carrying Marabout to safety. It is a little known fact that 19th Century Cavalry horses actually relished blood thirsty battles as much as some of the men.
The last great Cavalry charge in history was carried about interestingly enough by Australians at the Battle of Beersheba. Australian light horse do not normally charge. They dismount and shoot their rifles but at Beersheba because the Turks were going to blow the wells they took out their bayonets and charged like conventional cavalry. This took the Turks so much by surprise they delayed firing their cannon until the Aussies got under their range.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Oh here's one..Black Beauty...does that count?
Comment by JessOw
The Tack Room
Comment by Justin
Cinematrix
So, the horse never amounted to being a senator or even a consul (Roman military general) but was favoured to if Caligula hadn't have been assassinated in 41 A.D.
Sorry, I get like that once a month.
Btw, beautiful pictures.
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Hi, Tracy. Sure, Black Beauty counts. In all probability, the most well-known horse in classical literature. I'm probably the only person who hasn't read the book yet. Shame, shame. That's because I've always thought it was a girl's book. Is it?
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
Having said that, my favourite horse would be 30/30, Bravestarr's sidekick. 30/30 was mechanical and could stand on his hind legs. He also had a huge blunderbuss called Sarah Jane. If it wasn't for these facts and his southern accent, he'd just be another boring-as-fuck horse.
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Hey, Justin. Hmmm, very pedantic, but quite informative nonetheless. No need to apologize, it's better to get the facts straight. History somehow has a way of distorting them to make the "truth" more interesting. Glad you liked the pics. Too bad I can't claim credit for any of them. I especially liked the one of Prince Charles. He looks quite uncomfortable, as if the chafing has set in. What a wuss. Lady Godiva doesn't even have pants on and she's not complaining.
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Comment by Little Angry Doll
Falling Haiku Leaf
Yes, you are right.
Indulgentiam quaeso.
Comment by Luke
Book Club
Old Movies
Cane Toad Warrior
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
Glad Black Beauty counts...don't feel bad about not having read the book... I have, but completely forgot it was a book when I wrote my comment and only remembered it as a film....eeek...that does not put me in a good light...and I haven't remembered any other famous horsies either....what a weekend...
Tracy
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Thank you for the good laugh, I needed it.
My favourite horses are Disney ones;
Bullseye from Toy story Fame,
Khan from Mulan,
Pegasus as [portrayed in cameo roll] in Disney's Hercules
Wasn't Lady Godiva's horse named Loth? She's a homie of mine and won her case and I think she became the patron saints of engineers; spawned the phrase 'voyuer ' and 'peeping tom' - who was peeping and was struck blind.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lady_Godiva
Lilla...
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
Comment by Lilla
Enviro Warrior
An Extra Ordinary Life
Dream Herald
I forgot to ask, what's your tip for the Melbourne Cup?
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
The only extra one that springs to mind at te moment is "The Black Stallion".
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Lilla and John Doe..all your horses...
I'm adding:-
Shadowfax - Gandalf's horse
Any horse that Aragorn rode.
Flicka
National Velvet's horse
and...the 'horses' in Monty Python and The Holy Grail...
Comment by Hellvis
Earache Hotel
I think the bonafide horse-riding cavalry is probably long gone by now, but this was in the '60s I think.
And yeah, 30/30 put up with a lot of shit, but so did Battlecat.
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Hey, Tracy. So you get your literature fix from film? You are not alone. Worldwide, millions of high school students too lazy to read Cliff's Notes watch film versions of Les Miserables or Lord of the Flies for their Lit classes. As far as I know, it has always worked. *lol*
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Yeah, Hidalgo was pretty smart. I watched the movie last night on Channel Seven. Loved his colors, too. Is it a horse? Is it a cow? As for Melbourne Cup tips, I'm the wrong person to ask since what I know about racing, you could write on a jockey's... well, you could write on a jockey. If I would have to give a tip, though, I would have to say don't bet on El Segundo. When a horse's name means "the second one", you know it's not a good sign.
Thanks, Melissa. I've got a question about the Black Stallion, though. I haven't read any Black Stallion books, but is it true there's actually THREE Black Stallions? I'm not exactly sure how that works, but I think his foal became the second one, then there was another one. I don't know. As I said, haven't read any of the books. However, as a kid, I've always thought maybe Black Beauty and Black Stallion could do a cross-over then they would fall in love and have Black Foal and Black Colt. Turns out Black Beauty was male. Who in their right mind names a guy "Beauty"?!
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Hey, Hellvis. That's true, but 30/30 could talk. He was no mere steed. I think he was even a deputy, right? Good thing he never went postal on Bravestarr with that big-ass gun. "How would you like it if I rode on your back, kemo sabe?" BAM! His puma speed won't be able to save him.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
I can't talk, can't tYpE...don't know why but I am in hysterics over this!!
Thanks Ragin...
DuskDevi
Comment by JessOw
The Tack Room
(no seriously, I've read them all...)
And the best cartoon horse is by far and away Shera's horse Spirit, who turns into Swiftwind. Swiftwind could kick Battleaxe around the moon!
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
I thought of one more magnificent horse to add to the list: -
Sleipnir - the 8 legged horse of Odin, chief of the Norse gods.
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Oooh, good call, Melissa. I believe Sleipnir is one mythical horse who could take on Pegasus in a fight. Odin would no doubt kick Perseus' ass, but their mounts would provide a more entertaining battle.
Comment by DuskDevi
Rucks and Rolls
Rugby World Cup 2007
Thank you for your kind words re my tag (really like yours and your posting pic).
If you only knew what 'Devi' means...it would still make a cool superhero name (damn, why didn't I think of that?!) but it's a bit more umm...'devi-ne' than 'devi-l'.
Hmmm...what costume would go with this name? A cross between Wonder Woman's aquasuit and Elektra but in pink and blue and...okay...now is not the time.
Isn't hippocampus something in the brain shaped like a seahorse...ohhhh..I get it...duh.
Thanks Ragin.
DuskDevi
Comment by JessOw
The Tack Room
Comment by Ragin Cajun
Observer's Post
Death By Myopia
Hey, JessOw. Hmmm, you might have a point there. Airborne fighters do have an advantage over grounded opponents. However, more importantly, you made me think about She-Ra riding a winged unicorn on heels. Damn, that's hot! *lol*
Comment by David Alexander Wright in love
I began a search for the spirit of the black beauty that I imagined when I was growing up... a wonder, a heroic spirit, fiercly loyal and not quite humane though for a horse a beautiful wonder.
I found some of the qualities in the mirror. I achieved Humana this time... a little above humane...
I imagine a wilderness area in a Wall of heaven... I imagine the spirit I grew up with... wild stallions rule.
David Alexander Wright in love
DAW language humbly